Primer to the 101
PETA will drop its current hypocracy and bring animal abuse charges
against international monkey molester Jane Goodall.
Google Maps will face charges of racism when they identify a non-historical
1. Disney will have a gay mouse,
Myron Mouse, exit the closet. The swishy rodent will look suspiciously like Mickey’s twin, but will be differentiated
by a truly remarkable limp wrist, lisp and curly tail.
2. Pay-for-View television will hold a ten-round match between Caesar
Milan and Michael Vick to raise money for the Billy Sunday Home for Aged Women Who Wear Hot Pants.
3. It will be revealed
the only male Antony Weiner sent photos of his testicles and penis to was Jebediah (Please call me Jedi) Bush.
4. Michelle Obama
will suffer a serious injury during extra-curricular activities with Saran Wrap that does not involve her extraordinarily
5. With the end of the Democrat presidency, the corporate/CIA media will again report on the murders and brutal
acts occurring in Darfur.
6. Pope Francis will be excommunicated for fraternization with Joel Osteen.
candidates will cry foul when Donald Trump buys McDonald’s and replaces the golden arches with the Trump tower symbol.
8. Folks will officially
begin addressing Barry as Emir in early 2016, except for insiders who will continue to refer to him as Aladdin.
9. In a desperate
act, pro-rapist candidate, Hillary Hot-Rodman Clinton will black-jack a Moslem attending a rally to demonstrate she can be
as tough as Donald Trump concerning Islam.
10. Liberal sex symbol, Jan-nut Reno, will face charges for tracking down and murdering a Branch
Davidian member who escaped her human bar-b-que.
11. The President will be helicopter-ed to safety after a herd of dung
beetles escape the Washington zoo.
12. Unable to explain why his numbers don’t add up, Bernie Sanders will claim money is
magical under socialism and the debate moderators will accept the answer as true for the low-information voters.
13. The new international
health food will be pork chops as rational people take steps to keep the religion of peace at bay.
14. Due to governmental
planning 2016 won’t have a February 8th and instead two February 9ths will appear on Federal calendars.
scientist, Milton P. Milton PhD’s, despite being armed with a hockey stick, final words while a late N.Y Spring
freeze entombs him in ice will be, “You denyers, man-made global warming will yet save me.”
16. Mexico by Motorcycle:
An Adventure Story and Guide authored by William B. “Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher’s less serious self will
become a best seller and bring peace to the Middle East.
17. At a U. N. special meeting Sec. of State John Kerry will make an emotional,
tear-filled public apology to Pluto and announce the little orb has been promoted back to planet status.
18. Uruguay will
launch a blitzkrieg against Brazil capturing Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro after three days of light fighting.
19. Bruce Jenner
will rename his Siamese cat, Rover.
20. Elvis will be discovered working as a Wal-Mart Greeter in Omaha, Nebraska.
21. Dr. I. P. Daily’s
book, Urinary Infections for Dummies, will be a run-away best seller.
22. Cruz will be challenged on his place
of birth, but telling the liberal moderator “it’s closer than Keyna,” will end the discussion.
23. Kim Jong-un
will assure the North Korean population that under his newest socialist health care program they can keep their doctors if
they have one.
24. Wanted international criminal, George Soros will begin purchasing lower priced organs from central Chinese stock
despite the company belonging to the Bush family, known as Hari-bush Corporation in Asia.
25. Madonna’s big ol’
good’un will be officially ruled too old and too misused to compete for the title in the Miss White Trash
26. New Jersey’s Governor Chris Christy will quit the presidential race and resign the governorship to pursue
a career in big time sumo wrestling
27. PETA activists will bomb Orkin franchises in five states, but by hiring ISIS members to do
the work they won’t be labeled terrorists under the current rules.
28. Alley cat Al Sharpton will again receive an
IRS get out of jail free card.
29. Former Congressman Barney Frank will re-open his D.C. gay whore house for both profit and
to gain more blackmail info on Republican office holders.
30. A Fat-boy’s Porn Production of Candy Crowley
doing the dirty while sandwiched between Congressman Jarod Nadler and Michael Moore will surface. After the initial
shock it will be re-released as a mainstream movie and win the best comedy of 2016.
31. Pre-selected 2016 Republican
candidate and suspected Nazi Jeb Bush, will announce it’s past time his wife learned English.
32. Hillary Rodman
Clinton will bless America by doing an entire debate using only her colored voice.
33. Flo—formerly America’s girlfriend--will
receive the largest settlement in history from a PR firm, Progressive Insurance, and her agent for making her into a national
joke when they signed her to perform voice imitation commercials.
34. The media will hold an extravaganza to celebrate
the first Kardashian who weds an imported but impotent billy-goat named Oscar.
35. An assassination attempt on Donald Trump
will fail when the bullet ricochets off his bullet proof toupee and seriously wounds Rand Paul.
36. A new black based/biased
organization will call for an Oreo boycott as the white part got the inside position.
37. Carl Rove, rumored to be
Hillary Clinton’s choice for Sec. of State will blow all his chances when he rips his coat and shirt off on live television
revealing a Superman shirt while screaming, “Hillary may be mounting me with a hard rubber phallus except when I don
this suit and get to be the top man.”
38. The History Channel will change its name to “The Politically Correct History Channel.”
39. Dr. Ben Carson
will concur with other leading neurosurgeons the syphilitic lesions on Barry Obama’s brain are inoperative.
40. Citizens will
be warned to avoid being within eight feet of regressive leftist Americans during the coming summer. In a rare mind
over matter mass hysteria phenomena many regressive devotees of Albert Gore will self immolate and break into flames
despite normal temperatures due to belief in manmade global warming.
41. James Carvel will find employment In the Trump campaign
to exploit his statement, “Democrat voters were easier to fool.”
42. The possibility of an investigation
to determine if the White House had Joan Rivers murdered for openly expressing Obama was a homosexual.
43. Carly Fiorina
will answer critics concerning her toughness by stomping Ronda Rousey blue in a UFC sanctioned fight.
will determine Michelle Obama’s grandiose derriere required her to marry a big enough ass to offset her monstrosity.
45. Stephen King
will quit being a liberal spokesman when he learns the CIA is not subsidizing his salary as they do mainstream media reporters.
46. During 2016
one in fourteen Democrats will have enough synapses fire concurrently to realize when: C. Jonathan Gruber, a major developer
of Obamacare, called the American voter stupid he was specifically referring to Democrat voters.
47. The Democratic
organization to employ liberals, masquerading as The Environmental Protection Agency, will support Obama’s
strategy by advocating the Ebola virus be added to the endangered species list.
48. Bill and Hillary’s trip to Benghazi,
aimed at quelling concerns about her failed decision making during that disaster will fail when word escapes from the main
media coverage, the couple landed in Malta.
49. In an effort to salvage the Tonight Show and increase ratings NBC
will offer ROTC’s former number 1 majorette, Ben Carson, close to a billion dollars to exit the Presidential race, change
his first name to Johnny and become the new host.
50. Barney Frank will be committed to a psychiatric hospital during January
over depression from Lindsay Graham’s exiting the Presidential race as he constantly repeats, “This was my last
chance to known in the White House as First Faggot.”
51. Regressive leftist’s already to oblivious to Eric Holder, of
Fast & Furious shame, being an unindicted mass murderer will continue to cry about Republicans and the one-percenters
while lacking the brain power to realize Holder went directly from the Democrat Department of Injustice to the corporate law
firm Covington & Burling often considered number one in protecting Wall Street criminals.
52. On February 26, 2016, former
Alcoholics internationally will enjoy a 1 pm cup of green tea as they celebrate unindicted murderer, Ted Kennedy’s seventy-eight
months of sobriety as proof anyone can kick the alcohol addiction.
53. Corporate sponsored “Black Lives Matter”
will continue to avoid non-Democrat Party media for fear of being asked, “Why they don’t protest Obama’s
totally gun-free Chicago where black lives are constantly squandered due to progressive politics and the president’s
54. On July Fourth 2016 Libertarians, Conservatives, Independents and Tea-Party Republicans will
hold ceremonies of remembrance for former media darlings leftist regressives used, soiled and forgot about. Among the honorees
will be slow-witted Cindi Sheehan, still wondering why mainstream media outlets ignored her protest of Obama’s
North African and Middle Eastern bloody wars; Tookie Williams, a criminal burning in hell, wondering how he was the left’s
number one cause only to be forgotten less than 24 hours after death; Anthony Weiner the poster boy for regressive sexual
freedom, dumped and ignored and Fat-assed Michelle Obama’s so-called nutritious school lunch programs disappearing.
55. ABC's most inaccurate
reporterette, Kookie Roberts, will accidently reveal poll data indicating 63 percent of Americans associate Hillary Clinton
with criminal activities rather than being a presidential candidate.
56. In an attempt to further hide his deep-seated aversion
to people of color, Al Gore will have his lily-white security force appear in black face. More amazing than this farce will
be the fact socialist media reporters won’t spot the sloppy imitations.
57. NAMBLA, the North American Man Boy Love
Association will announce Carl Rove and George Soros tied in voting for their Man of the Year award.
Jr. , aka, Sen. Elizabeth Warren will have her claim of having survived the original Wounded Knee accepted by the media and
59. Miley Cyrus, spoiled American known for teaching screw worms how to twerk with vigor will
embarrass Obama and prove not all leftists only give away other people’s money when her PR people announces Barack Obama’s
brother, George Obama, will no longer have to survive on a dollar a month as she will have her people cut him a monthly check
for three dollars.
60. Leading leftist scientist, Meryl Streep, the George Washington Carver of apples, will team up with world renown
scatologist Sheryl Crow to be the first liberals anywhere to put their words into deeds by vacationing in inner-city Detroit
and challenging other elite liberal regressives to vacation in such spots as Watts, Harlem or Liberty City.
genetic testing will verify it is impossible to determine if Frill Necked Lizard, Harry Reid or Scarlett Throated Mitch McConnell,
fertilized the most native and introduced reptile specie eggs throughout southern Florida.
62. Current box office failure
Starwars, will be recalled and re-released with an added segment of Scotty beaming up a Lilliputian in an attempt to salvage
63. Hillary “HotRodman” Clinton will cancel a debate appearance at the last moment when the team responsible
for wiping the pus oozing from her corrupt body goes on strike.
64. Satan’s more evil son, 109 year-old Nazi George
Soros will switch from surviving off organs from India’s adolescents to purchasing cheaper organs from Chinese prisoners.
65. Osama bin Laden
will leave the Crawford Ranch to enjoy a two week Hawaiian get-away with the Obamas.
66. Area 51 scientists, using Murdock Johsana
Johnson’s Theorem 27.8, will back-engineer an alien finger nail file.
67. Black privilege will become a political
hot potato the Democrat nominee has to deal with.
68. Kim Jong- un the world's second most dysfunctional world leader after
Obama will friend “Nostradamus, Jr.” Kaliher on Facebook.
69. Craig Livingstone will release a tell-all
book describing how Hillary often strapped on a phallus painted puke-pink and rode him until he worked up lather.
70. The National
Enquirer will do an in depth investigative piece on why the mainstream media because ashamed to proclaim Chaz Bono, aka. Chaz
Boneless every move and utterance.
71. Defender of Bill Clinton and pro-rapist candidate Hillary Clinton will further risk her political
future by publically defending Bill Crosby and sicking her bimbo squad on the women he reportedly raped.
72. The Bush family
will hire more Democrats to work for the RNC in a last ditch effort to block Cruz and Trump.
73. Tea-party Republicans, Independents,
libertarians and classical liberals will break out in smiles all around America at various times as they realize they no longer
know the name of a single Corporate/CIA sponsored news anchor.
74. People who keep up with the extremely weird will
wonder if Keith “One-Enema-Too-Many” Olbermann and his seven viewers have disappeared into an insane asylum.
last kickback tax scheme, before leaving office, will be awarding Google the right to build the “mark-of-the-beast”
chip for the New World Order.
76. Politically leftwing “Sports Illustrated” will drop any pretense of covering
sports and instead try to become a top end nudie magazine in an effort to survive.
77. Newt Gingrich will resurface nationally
in commercials as a Car Salesman for a major Japanese automaker.
78. Islamic scholar I’bin Bungholed Onetime2many
and former Salvation Army tambourine man will discuss why Barry Obama, despite being a sissy Kenyan, deserves to be known
as the Father of ISIS.
79. Al Gore will stand in for the wooden Indian at the saloon near Wall Drugs but customers will
complain he’s not lifelike and exceedingly weird.
80. "Not Our Wombs," NOW, spokeslady, and well-tattooed bull
dyke lesbian, Inez I. Lickenpoop, will shock the liberal world by asking Hillary to explain her pro-rape stances concerning
women Bill violated and used the justice system to torment further.
81. Regressive leftists will begin to deal with the
fact super liberal Richard Stengel, TIME Magazine editor and Democrat party donor termed them low information voters.
will continue providing laughs for thinking Americans as they fail to realize international Corporations fund progressive
anti-corporate Occupy Wall Street operations.
83. Satisfied her voting base is sufficiently stupid to not realize her
family businesses don’t pay minimum wages Nancy Pelosi will move to lower the poverty wages they now earn.
84. PBS, or the
welfare agency for unemployable relatives of nationally elected politicians, will run programs aimed at proving third party
candidates are a threat to their version of a representative democracy.
85. Al “Alley-Cat” Sharpton, the Right Reverend
and Very Fornicating Jesse Jackson, and Reverend “God Damn” Wright will refuse to debate Pastor James David Manning.
86. Bush family
Nazi collaboration during WW II and current Moslem ties will be discussed by the independent media this election season but
ignored by the dominant CIA/Corporate media.
87. Joe Biden’s newest racist remarks will continue to be
ignored by race pimps and the media.
88. Democrat members of the Senate and House will move that instead of opening prayers they be
allowed to lead the nation’s liberals in their daily five minutes of hate.
89. Regressive leftists and the media will
try to hide data indicating fracking vibrations lessen pressure on major plates and reduce the chance of major earthquakes.
90. Public intellectual
and noted moderate radio host, Michael Savage, will expose liberal hypocrisy by asking a regressive to explain why Islam allowing
a devotee to purchase and have sex with a one-year-old girl isn’t anti-feminist.
91. Caring Liberals, (are there
any other kind?) will again fail to discover what evil is preventing tax escape artist, Warren Buffet, from paying more taxes
or learn of his role in preventing the XL pipeline so he can make extra billions just by circuitously donating where it counts.
crime against humanity, making the BP oil spill disaster a hundred fold worse via incompetent management, will continue to
be ignored by environmental organizations dependent on Democrat politicians for their existence.
93. Sadly for anti-second amendment
groups more information exposing Sandy Hook school shooting as a false flag operation will come to light.
94. Abraham Van
Helsing, VI’s, stake through Katharine Graham's heart will hold one more year before the demon claws herself free.
95. Liberals and
most Americans will remain oblivious that hedge fund billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was involved in a child sex abuse scandal
or that William J. Clinton may have had firsthand knowledge of some of his child rapes, but what the heck, in regressive minds—screwing
a child is of minor importance compared to having a Republican in office.
96. Democrat Party fact-falsification operation, Snopes,
will move directly into the White House to help with the 2016 campaigns.
97. Hillary HotRodman Clinton will resemble a colonoscopy
patient shucking and jiving in search of a bathroom when the name Monica comes up in a debate.
98. Brooklyn N.Y.’s own
Giuseppe Finklestine, formerly known as Mahatma Gandhi, will assume the identity of Pearl Buck and infiltrate the highest
command centers in Red China.
99. Mayor DeBlasio will often find it more rewarding to play with himself rather than address
the media concerning his disastrous polices.
100. Quivering Chris “Fatty” Matthews’ will undergo psychiatric
counseling when he realizes he has a job because he’s liberal and if his employment depended on intelligence or talent
he’d be making bicycle deliveries for a living.
101. Michael Moore won’t spend three months in a Moslem nation despite
the hate filled, anti-woman “We are all Moslems” banner he recently displayed.